GOD-centric :

A life centered on the pursuit of a good and fair God of love

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Ch. 4 Dark Night of the Soul

Theme Song: Lord, Is It Mine - Supertramp

"This dark night is an inflow of God into the soul, which purges it of its habitual ignorances and imperfections, natural and spiritual, and which the contemplatives call infused contemplation or mystical theology. Through this contemplation, God teaches the soul secretly and instructs it in the perfection of love without its doing anything or understanding how this happens. Insofar as infused contemplation is loving wisdom of God, it produces two principal effects in the soul: by both purging and illumining, this contemplation prepares the soul for union with God through love. Hence the same loving wisdom that purges and illumines the blessed spirits purges and illumines the soul here on earth." ~ St. John of the Cross, The Dark Night of the Soul

  At twenty, I did not know about St. John of the Cross' Dark Night of the Soul. If your coming of age took place before internet connectivity, you may remember how it was to be young and somehow believe that you were thinking thoughts for the first time and feeling feelings that no one else had felt before you. God had abandoned me and I had no idea that He had a track record of this sort of thing. Apparently, Mother Teresa suffered a 50 year long dark night of the soul so I feel like a cry-baby. All I can say is that at the time this dark night filled up my whole world. It was a genuine crisis and I was ill-prepared to handle it but I had to handle it. I no longer had my childhood God as my constant companion so I had to build a new foundation based on an improved understanding of God. Perhaps surprisingly, I never really doubted God but I did think that my understanding of God must be flawed. I figured that was why God told me to write the note card. God knew that I needed to grow up and that soon He would be kicking me out of the nest so He gave me a safety net to keep my free fall from killing me. It worked but just barely. As I staggered about on the ground, I mightily missed that nest but I grew to realize that I wasn't going to get to go back unless I moved forward and learned how to fly to God.

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