Ch. 4 Dark Night of the Soul (continued)
My Catholic Imagination
For me, being Catholic was about more than affirming certain doctrine. In addition to the valued catharsis and character building of confession, I found great comfort in the ritual of the mass and the lowercase “c” definition of catholic as universal. As I sat in the pew, I would imagine people all over the world wearing their native dress and speaking in different languages but all sharing the same mass that I was experiencing. That made me feel one with all kinds of people and part of something really big. I was lucky that I grew up in the 1970s when the Catholic Church was probably at its most liberal and Jesus wore hippie sandals and bucked authority and championed the outcast, the poor, and the sick. I felt like greater emphasis was paid to the way Jesus lived his life than to what happened after he died. Jesus modeled how we should behave. I appreciated the liturgical calendar. I liked the way the vestments changed color with the liturgical season and how each year had a rhythm and pace that you could count on. I enjoyed the theater of the bells, incense, gut wrenching Stations of the Cross, and beautiful devotional statues. I was a Presbyterian girl scout so once a year I went to a Presbyterian church service with my troop and I remember thinking “Gosh, it's just some guy in a suit talking. How do the kids stay awake?” The mass provided pomp enough to keep me interested. I felt like I was someplace special.
I know that many people think Catholicism is all about falling in line behind the Pope but my parents used to tell me that we were American Catholics which meant that we were independent in our thinking. If Catholicism was not obedience to hierarchy, then what was it for me? I will answer by providing a synopsis of the notes that I took during an Ignatian spirituality session: Catholicism is about finding God in all things which is always a movement of love. God's greater glory is not found in retreat, rejection, or judgment of the world but rather in ordinary living. The earth is charged with God's grandeur. What is important is not theology but how you live and what you do with your life. To say "yes" to God is to say "yes" to unselfcentered love, to becoming truly other-centered. To say "no" to God is to choose to stay self-encapsulated. God is your experiencing that your earthly love has its source in God in the manner of Jesus. Spirituality is the lived encounter or existential experience of God, not your idea of God. To know God is not to know about God. God is infinite goodness actively and redemptively involved in the world, not in some distant heaven. The daily Ignatian examination involves asking “What have I to be grateful for? How have I loved and been loved? What is the movement of love in my life?” The Roman Catholic Church is a very big place and you can probably find something there to resonate with your path. You can also find some other stuff...
